take · these · words

I passed! Ateneo and La Salle. I hope I'll pass up diliman, but I think there's a good chance because I applied for a non-quota course, creative writing. Creative Writing? Not exactly the most practical choice, you say. Yes, but the thing is, I loved to write, and I wrote that choice done many months ago. Now I realize the impracticality of my ways and I want to do creative communication arts. I'll admit to you, I'm no woman of mathematical theories, and carrying on a conversation with Einstein or any of those science greats will leave me deaf, mute, and numb of any brilliance.
I'm a writer and a communicator ever since. My love for the spoken and written word flourished when I first picked up a pen and made a poem that rhymed in first grade. I still remember, the title was "Books", and I haven't looked back since.
And now, I'm going to Ateneo! How do you squeal using the keyboard? Whoohoo! I'm excited. Except for the part where I have to change my course to the second choice and hope I still get in.
Ateneo was where I decided to go ever since I started high school. I don't know why, it was just this seed of desire planted withing my heart and this desire grew as the days passed by. This seed has now blossomed into a reality. Excellent. Now my fantasies of lounging under an acacia tree and spouting random philosophies in the ateneo campus are about to grow real. I love my future school already. Though I have to admit to you, what attracted me to the school was the way it sounded. Ateneo... ooh, how prestigious, shallow as that may seem to you. I'm going to ateneo, babeh!
Then I'm going to have to worry about finding a youth ministry as awesome as youth-m. I'm going to miss kuya adz and the worship team. They are the best. I know it's gonna be hard letting go, and when God will lead me to a new youth group it's going to be hard to resist the temptation to compare. But I can't help it! I'm just really going to miss those guys and my friends at school. I love them so much. But I know God's got something for me in Manila.
Just relishing this moment is so exciting. Think of the possibilities! Boy, is my life exciting right now, even if all I'm doing yet is school. In a few weeks, the class will be going on a photography excursion to bohol. Going to a trip with people I have laughs with, this is gonna be oodles of fun. IT olympiad next week. Prom in February. And then, Ateneo! Also, summer volunteering at RAFI or joining KoolKamp or OMF literature... ahh... yeah. life.

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and proceeding to a private online journal of mine. face it, you're not concerned with everyday facts. and neither am i concerned with all the comments. well, yeah.

uhhh... I don't think I'll be posting here for a while. But go join Tabulas.com, it's so much better than livejournal, aside from the fact that you can search users on LJ. but Tabulas is way cooler!

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I know it's prolly useless for you to know, but I need to tell someone and know that someone's with me here.

Our school joins this interschool competition every year and we usually win. Except the school where this competition is always held is hellbent on winning. This school is a friggin cheathouse. They got leakage on the surprise topics, because that's where the contest is held, so naturally they're more prepared, naturally they won.

I got third place at something I should have at least gotten second place for, had it not been for that school. I honestly believe I deserve it. I truly do, I'm not being cocky, which is why I feel so horrible. It's not my pride at stake here. Seriously, they bagged first place for nearly everything, except:
parliamentary procedure (we won) - because how could you possibly cheat at that?
bartendering (we won) - because even when the blender started to smoke, our bartender was da man. Huzzah! Of course, those cheaters started complaining immediately. poor kevin, he couldn't come out of the room. But he was awesome. I'm so proud.
dish gardening (we won) - no contest. I'm so proud of my classmate!

And then there's this contest where that cheater stude literally conned our contestant under her nose (letting her use a defective object for the contest.) To think that she was acting all sweet and... ugh. So naturally, we got second place, they got first. And get this: THEY ASKED HER TO TEACH THEM FOR THE REGIONALS! THE NERVE!

And to think they're soooo smug. Ugh. In the hallways I always hear my school's name being whispered. And then they scream their mock "congratulations" to us while we pass by and snickering as we go away. Eh. shut up.

We deserved the top prize, we really did.... which is what makes it all so frustrating.And I cannot be consoled with the thought that those cheaters will deep inside know that they didn't deserve it. They don't have friggin consciences, if they did they wouldn't have cheated.

Oh, what really ticks me off is that they asked us to teach them for the regionals for the contest they won first place for. If you're so good, and you won first place, why come to us? You must be the best, after all you won the contest. EH, cheaters.

Our school deserved to be first-placer in most of the contests. I hate ABELLANA. Yes, I'm being vulgar and indiscreet and absolutely in a sore-loser mood, ABELLANA NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL, YOU ARE THE LOWEST OF THE LOW. YOU'RE SO PATHETIC THAT YOU HAD TO CHEAT US OUT OF WHAT WE TRULY DESERVED.

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So I joined this contests... (I actually had the gall to volunteer) This is the last night we stay in school until nine to practice for the competition (mine is powerpoint presentation)... it's tomorrow, pray for me.

Uhh yeah, it's been a good two days. I mean, whoo, I get to stay in school late! I don't know how I like this exactly, but it being the first time I stayed in school real late, there is a sense of liberation which is... cool. Ehh... yeah, had fun.

as for the contest. Should I win the divisional, I get to go to siquijor for the regional contest, which is awesome because it's ghostly. I'm asking for trouble, lol.... but yeah, it would be a neato accomplishment. I do hope I don't screw it up tomorrow. I've got stage fright, the seriousest kind. And I hope I get the timing right. Whoo! This is scary. Later. :D

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Uhh yeah, took the Ateneo College Entrance test and it was pure madness, I tell you. Absolute insanity. Okay. So you're meant not to finish on time. 30 questions, five minutes. Tell me what person would finish abstract reasoning in that amount of time. I don't know if I'm gonna pass or not, but right now, it's no worries; I'm really more worried about the course I'm gonna take. But yeah, whatever.
Okiedokies, I'm having trouble with our investigatory project, we just have no time to make a new one. Our carageenan and coco water as bioplastic failed, and we have two days to churn out a write-up. So we're doing it again tomorrow. Yeah. This is gonna be the fourth time we start over and it better work this time. If not, then... I don't know anymore. Whee. Ah, life. It's insanity.
Today though, we had to present something for the people from the "office". You know, the depEd guys who make sure everything's in working order. So Jannah made up this cool song, it was the most original, and yeah, awesome. For once, our class did something right. And you know, this guy sang a lead part and he was pretty good! He sounded just like the lead singer from sugarfree. Which happens to be, I believe, his favorite band. But he has a nice voice. And Jannah wrote this supah awsumo song. Hooray. we had this whole band. And everyone's fawning over Tacan and Mike because Tacan is a brilliant drummer and no one can pluck those strings like mike. And they made the riffs for the song. It's awesome. I'm pretty proud of my class. We pulled something off! Yipee!

Oh yeah, Alay lakad... where you walk for charity. More like Alay tindog. Because we stood for two hours and we walked for thirty minutes. Yeah, baby. We left right after the walk anyway, and then today's headline shows the Alay Lakad with their entertainment act being obscene and vulgar. You know, homos parading around and cursing in skimpy outfits. Loaded with sexual innuendos. What exactly were those organizers thinking, knowing that kids are gonna be there? Perverts. What losers. And I'm glad I missed that. Goodness gracious.

I would just like to apologize for not giving you a more interesting entry. You know, I don't really write about the more personal stuff here, it's all in another journal, hidden from prying eyes. Not that you would like to know, anyway. And I don't think you'll find this interesting, because, who really wants to know that I ate a cheese sandwich for breakfast? Certainly not you, I believe. But life will churn out more interesting moments soon.

Ah yes, the STEP competition. Three days away. So from now on I'm staying in school REAL late. Last year the contestants stayed in school up to ten pm to practice. So I'm thinking this year won't be any different. We have no breaks anymore, I've been in school the whole week. And all those past Saturdays have been given up for school-something. Yeah, don't I just love it. I mean, do you guys do this too? We don't even have a sembreak... this really biiites. Emphasis to the principal: GIVE US A BLOODY BREAK ALREADY!

Oh, new icons for my LJ. don't steal.

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Okay.so in the next few weeks i will be busy doing:
-RESEARCH (to the power of ten)
-dance
-biome/bulletin
-tests....
-the school newspaper
-social studies report
-application forms
-that eejit makabayan presentation thing.
-step competition
-it olympiad

I volunteered for the last two. And looking back, I'm slapping myself for being such an idiot and volunteering. Haloor!? every week visitors are coming over to evaluate our education and nothing substantial is actually happening and our friggin principal is telling us to do things at just the last minute. They are frigging insane. and i feel like such a leech because I get picked up wayyy too early from school and I have a million things to do.

I think I can do them, plus class studying jazz. The only problem really is friggin time management. That ever so lovely principal obviously has never heard of the concept. She cancelled our tomorrow (supposed to be for our science project required for graduation) to sing and dance and make a whole presentation for visitors coming over in three days. She has known about it for a looong time and she only tells us now. HELLO?! Isn't it obvious?

We're no friggin superheroes. And even then, they have help and supah awsumo supapowahs. And they only focus on one thing at a time. One deadline at a time. Okay, so there's a giant mosquito attacking the city of [insert imaginary comic book town here]. Yawn. You can blast it with your laser vision and be home in time for chicken pot pie and kiss your sweetheart and say, "how's it going, honey?" Superman has no problems at all. But maybe Peter Parker's a bit more on our level. What a sweetie... *sigh*...

Now. We have to dance tomorrow in some showdown. And my classmate has issues because she can dance but she's soo conscious of her beloved. Yeah, uh huh, I hear you honey. So excuse me to leave you alone to wallow in your despair while I actually try to learn the whole dance. I'm having trouble, I really am. I just cannot be choreographed. Well, I can... give me a year or two. Lol. And it reminds me of the song, "I'm never gonna dance again|two left feet I've got no rhythm|though it's easy to pretend|yadda yadda..." ... whatever. I understand your woes and everything. But at least you can dance.

Now. I watched Amazing Race 5 when they were in the Philippines. I absolutely loathe Colin. What chauvinist, egotistical, obnoxious pig. Haha, Christie must dump that eejit. I'm rooting for Brandon and Sarah.... wow! They're so awesome and they're amazing. Chip and Kim, I love you too, you guys are hilarious, but you've been in first place many times. So go ahead, enjoy your vacation in Hawaii. As for the bowling moms... eh.

Okay, hilarious moments, only in the Philippines moments. So Colin finally blew his top off taking forever to look for what Christie found in five seconds. They're all on the way to the coconut palace in manila, right? So it's all neck and neck, and they all were on separate taxi cabs. One couple said to the driver, "faster, faster sir!" and the driver said, "unfortunately, the speed limit on this road is 100. SO we have no choice but to break the law." Hahay. On a more innocent and less saddening note, another couple said, "can you please take us to the coconut palace?" and the driver said, "The cookie palace?" Priceless.

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I'm sneaking this in. I'm pretty swamped, actually. I'm buried neck deep in projects, research and CAT. Apparently, they can't just fail me if I don't hand them in. They just won't let me graduate. So. Two projects, deadline fast approaching, and absolutely no time to do them all. I'll manage.

So aside from school, school, and more school, I did some tree planting. Yes, another requirement for graduation. So it's still school. I did it last Saturday, see, and I had to get to the park at 5.30 in the morning. Long story short - went to the mountains, the breeze was amazing, thank you, and we went on the most treacherous hike ever to get to the planting site, we had our shoes all covered in mud, we almost stepped on cow dung, we slipped on a nice pile of dewy grass, more than once I might add, all to discover in the end that there was a friggin shortcut. a friggin SHORTCUT. Halloor?! Well, the cool breeze and the occasional rolling cloud was enough to keep me calm. Except that there was this guy, our so-called leader I suppose, that just cannot seem to part with his extremely irritating megaphone. Hey mister, why don't you come up here and plant something?
We traversed treacherous hills, we drove to the outskirts of the city. And I have tackled one more frigging requirement for graduation. Without a shortcut. Hooray for me.

Well, interesting anecdote for the day. It was pretty hilarious, really. Ooh I love my batch to bits.

today. Math class. Jigsaw group. I am the only girl. And I don't know whether to love or hate my group members. Okay, in school I'm called "rosy cheeks" because yeah, I do have rosy cheeks. The kind that makes my chinky eyes disappear under cheek muscles or subcutaneous fat or whatchamacallit. And hey, who was there? yeah. Him. And he started making fun like he always does when he's in the vicinity. Not the bullying kind of fun, you know, just the fun. And with other guys around... oh, the insanity! Really, I don't know whether to love or hate my group members... haha. And I truly was blushing throughout the whole period. My cheeks were all hot against my cold palms. Rosy cheeks indeed. Uhh yeah. Well, they all brightened up my day. So whatever.

It was Mar's birthday today and I gave him a candy bar that was all melted, lol. Happy birthday! :D

Oh! And Phys Ed was sooo fun. Our group kept losing the last three assorted games, we were always last so we were pretty desperate to win this fourth one. It was our game where you tie a bamboo pole to each foot, so the other members are lined up behind or in front of you, and you have to walk together to reach the finish line. Kinda like three-legged race with more than three legs and on bamboo poles. It's not easy, I tell you.And our leader was screaming at us and everything, "left! right! get back up you over there! Quit stalling!" haha, we love you still. And we won! And I'm happy.

Today was crazy, it was madness, it was pandemonium. But I end on a happy note, looking back. I can drift off to my dreamland now. Whoops. after i finish my project.

And just fyi... a song I cannot get off my head:
i don't know how, i don't know why
yesterday you told me bout the blue blue sky
and all that i could see
was a yellow lemon tree

i turn my head up and down
i turn it turn it turn it turn it all around
and all that i could see
was a yellow lemon tree.

I want the wonderS! Lovely song.

Okay, now for the plugs. Go check out my writing log:
http://lettres.pyonn.net
and my icon journal thirteenth_row. Yeah. </lj>

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... no more ms. slacker.

yeah. I'm not happy with my grades so I guess it's my ultimate adios to this clunky mass of temptation. No more internet, no more computer. Yeah. Oh boy, this is gonna be hard, and it's all for the best. I have to do it. So... yeah, I won't be blogging for a while. Whoo...

By the way, thanks again to Leon for being the best ever! I'm now the features editor. Isn't that great? I'm so fulfilled. But again, that girl in the last post. So she is superfluously wordy and that american twang that will send the rest of barok philippines in envy. I think, it's just really unfair that she judged me before she read anything of mine. Just say you don't like me, period. I'm still your boss. Haha.

Okiedokies, goodbye, online friends.

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Leon is soooo good. Yeah. wheee. okay, for those who know me personally and are reading this, haha, that's not what I meant, sillies. He doesn't want to be features editor. Just peachy. He's happy, I'm happy, and the world keeps spinning! Hooray for Leon. And my great ed-in-chief and the awesome associate editors. I'm under great people.
Argh. and then there's this girl who could be under me. Well, yeah, she's overjoyed that leon is the features editor because he's sooo good looking. And she criticizes me (behind my back) for writing that she's never read. Come on. Say it to my face. I dare you. Ugh. Sorry for the excessive grunting onomatopeias. I'm just not feeling her right now.
Well, yeah. Thanks Lord for all my great friends, I love them so much. Haha, I love my computer class. My happy, huge, proactive surrogate family. I love you people, you're awesome, and you will be the hardest to part from come this graduation. I'll miss you all so much. Let's get together sometime after that! You know, watch a movie like old times. Get to tops and everything.
I know, I'm just in reverie. Hey, the schoolyear's just begun. But seriously, that class means a lot. They are the best people ever. I mean seriously! I'm surrounded with great people.
I don't know, I just thought of that mean girl and well, I thought of my computer class. I love them so much.

Sometimes I wish I were a guy. I mean, being a girl is sooo complicated. Yeah, those hormones that get you all emotional. Hand me the phenylalanine! With guys, it's play soccer, a bit of table tennis in between, class, and then haha, all those corny jokes that everyone laughs at and jazz. Plus you have those manipulative sneaky malditas/supladas/bruhahas all damaging your self-esteem. AT least if you're good-looking, they'll flirt with you, as is the usual agenda of every igat girl in teendom. WIth guys, everything is cool. No worries. Hakuna Matata.

I don't know. I shouldn't be happy considering I got my test results today... but know what? For the first time, I didn't really care. I mean, yeah, okay, that's bad. I'll straighten up this grading, promise. Whoo...

I'm just high over the people today. A whole buncha friends compared to this snotty assuming bruha. So yeah, I'm thankful. although other times I feel as if I'm not welcome at all. But still, I love you guys, you're amazing and I'm grateful. Really, we need more group hugs. I'm not joking. And we ALL have to join kool kamp. And I'll always be rooting for you.

As for that girl. I don't have the strongest self-esteem, but hey, she's not gonna stop me.

Also, my guy friends are so awesome! I love you guys too! Haha, you wackos.

Went tabulas crazy and signed up for all those cool usernames while I had the chance. Haha, bad habit of mine. I have totally no use for them . Sowee! Oh yeah, LJ isn't immune. Signed up for more than a couple too.

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sorry for my previous post. i'm slowly getting over the whole thing and yeah, I couldn't get my ranting behind a cut. So... yeah. It's ultimately for the best.

I'm installing more plugins for wordpress and I'm changing my moodtheme. It's very cute, watch out for it. :D

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i'm here. sorry for not updating, it's just... a lot has happened. Good or bad?

...well, sorry to not hide this behind a cut, but, he said he loved me! whee! Island view too! Haha, lol. Sorry, just giddy. He loves me as a friend, that's good enough, I guess. I don't know. It's not really a crush, I think. I just like him a lot. I don't want to waste my time figuring everything out. I'm just gonna sink back into my dreamland and well, yeah.

Then, we had our first periodic exams. Okay. Real tough, as in. I'm not gonna bother you with details like I thought I would, but advanced chemistry is so friggin hard! to think that all you do is cancel out stuff (I never paid attention in class, anyway... my bad!) But it's really amazing, because our advanced chemistry teacher has mellowed down a bit. She's stopped usurping her time in class teaching us values. So yeah, I've kinda cooled down too. Just waiting to see how long they will last. Seriously. Economics killed me a couple of times. Advanced chemistry (ehem, values) was super uber duper tough. In short, yesterday's tests were pie, and today's were hard to chew and swallow.

We recieved a scolding in class about being too passive about life. I guess, I am passive sometimes. And my emotions have kinda cooled down and I don't feel like telling you what happened exactly, but as soon as I got fetched and I got in the car the first song I heard was "dare you to move" by switchfoot. Wow. I mean, what a sign! It's nice to know God's there. I mean, he always is, but it's nice to have some concrete assurance. but yeah, right now all I remembered was that sign and the emotions aren't really there anymore.

I should be more driven. I should be motivated. I should carry on. It's the hardest thing to do right now. I'm still loaded with homework and projects and life, basically. Sometimes, those times, I want life to pass me by. But most of the time, I want to be in the smack middle. I don't want to stay in the sidelines forever. I don't want to be second fiddle.

[Unknown LJ tag]
Which was why I was absolutely heartbroken during our school paper's meeting. I had my heart set on being a features editor. Really, not even editor-in-chief, or whatever, I wanted so much to be a features editor. And i didn't become a features editor. You know how you prepare your christmas wishlist two months in advance and you anticipate and expect and turns out you get something you didn't want? Yeah, it's like that, although my wishlist was prepared four months in advance. Without being proud or pompous or anything, I wanted to be a features editor more than anyone else in the meeting did. Even if most of us applied for that position. ANd I just broke down when I saw a girl nominated for that position. I just felt she didn't deserve it. I wanted it so much more. I cared about it so much more. And I just started crying. I sped to the bathroom and tried, tried to recollect myself.

... I'm like that, I don't want any compromises. Or else, I wouldn't bother at all. In most compromises I get the losing end of the deal. And I don't want to have to bother with all the trouble in the first place. I think it's only fair. I pretty much want something for a long time. And it hurts if I get something else. Because really, I've been wasting my time and energy. And it's a crappy feeling.

So... I'm not features editor, I'm the news editor. And it's crap because I'm not suited for the news at all. I'm not good at being brief and to the point. And i'm still hung up over this whole deal. Just can't get over it.

This is a seemingly insignificant thing to many, but I've wanted to be a features editor for four years. I am definitely not taking this lightly.

Hey... everything happens for a reason, and it's always for the best, but in this scenario, I don't know how it is. I believe I'm a good writer. I hate the news. Everyone else is happy. I'm NOT. I am NOT majoring in journalism. I'm majoring in CREATIVE WRITING. ARGH! THis is so much crap. My plan's not working out at all!

...would I still be driven to do my best even if there's no friggin point? I'm just really disappointed, so desperately disappointed I didn't become features editor. It was the biggest deal to me. It was my dream, and ugh, I reached for Alpha centauri and I landed in orion's belt. I tell you, I'm not cut out for the bloody news.

What does not getting what I want mean? That I'm not good enough? ... then what's the bloody point?

I've never felt so bad about not being who I want before. Like I said, it's a very big deal to me. I just feel horrible.
</lj>

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Well, apparently my commitment to no internet for the week hasn't been kept very well. Yeah. Whoopee.

I don't know what to post here, except that I'm busy. Super busy. And that I would really really really like an early adopter/paid account, and I am willing to trade for it. And I found a loop hole, because I am not trading accounts, i am trading invites. And they're not for commercial use. I just want my LJ. A nice fat LJ with all the trimmings.

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...have you noticed? my titles are absolutely redundant. Well, I don't like titles much anyway.

I have been absolutely slacking off. Prelims are this week and I haven't cracked open a book, and I feel really slacker-ish. salig 4th year ba... yeah. I'm not having much trouble with school for the first time ever, you know. But I still don't want to take any chances.

Instead, I've been spending my days on this computer (ah, temptation) looking for someone to trade gmail accounts with for a paid Lj. And I finally know how to do overrides.. that global head thing. Yes. So I can finally make layouts for livejournal.

Like some amelie screencap I like. You know, where she takes pictures of cloud formations? Real cute. Anyway.

I have to make this huge commitment: to stop using the puter for this whole week. i know I'm gonna break it anyway because my project involves research, but bah. (ps. do you know how to divide polynomials with trinomials using synthetic division?) And once I start, I sure know I can't stop. Well. Updates:
-added a favicon to http://dre.eversky.org
-looking to change the moodtheme.
-added a few writings to http://lettres.pyonn.net (check it out and review my works. constructive criticism needed.)
-signed up for a new LJ. Hey, aayl isn't exactly the most interesting username. Check out...

WHOOPEEE! GOT SIX NEW INVITES! don't pester me, unless you're looking to trade with paid time for LJ. Someone just scammed me, but I'm letting her get away with it... for now. I can take it back. Hahahahaha don't mess with me, jerzeygirl. I'll feel nice when I'll feel nice. back to the topic.

okay. my two new LJ's, thirteenth_row and purewonderment with nothing in it. Haha. I have waaay too many blogs. But well, looking to customize it. So, my LJ friends, please add me and I'll add you right back. Have nothing to tell you now except I need (it's more of a really-really-want-so-please-give-it-to-me kinda thing) paid time for LJ so if you wanna swap comment. </lj></lj>

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I so very very much want to watch Secret Window. This is where I finally found out how cool Johnny Depp is. The verdict? He is just TOO COOL. I don't see how anyone could think him to be hot. But what an absolutely awesome role to play. And Stephen King is a bloody brilliant writer. THis might be the best movie ever! Oh, I love love love it. Johhny Depp is the awesomest guy ever for playing this ingenious role. Whooooo.

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I know, no writing stuff. just posting to tell you that you can now find my newer works at belles-lettres,
http://lettres.pyonn.net

so go check the place out. :D

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Today was okay. Great! I mean, I definitely got more attention, and even the unwanted kind, but there was a lot of hugging involved, so I'm happy. I need my daily dose of touch. It's my therapy.

Lol, carmel is so funny. We went to school together and she didn't greet me once on the way, haha! She did that on purpose. Of course I started wondering, yeah, and then Kris screamed her greeting and yeah. Jose hugged me! hah! for the first time eva! Aww, I'm so touched! haha... yeah. And then of course everyone started asking me when I will make pa-libre to them (lol, you guys... libre means... party or anything that involves a paid-for gimmick)... as usual. Hey, it comes with the showered attention.

So, what have I got to do for the next few weeks? projects, tests, tests, cleaning, and that acquaintance party this saturday. FUn? dunno. Anyway. I want to get to all that site stuff so bad but I guess this is it for now. I have to take a break and start disciplining myself because I have definitely slacked off. I think it's deserved after three years of hard work and now I just want to relax, yeah. I have to put in more discipline.

Oh! I got my postcard from Sinta. What timing, huh? Smack on my birthday. It's of matterhorn, and it's real pretty because sometimes clouds cover up the sky and leave just a tiny space for sunlight which shines down right on the summit. Angel Rays, like in the movie Evelyn.

Ate out, got my cake, eating it tomorrow because I'm way too full from all the sushi! yum! so I'm going to sleep (not doing my homework again, i'll wing it) satisfied, tired and full. What dreams must await me. So I'm sixteen now. Two years more until I can drive legally. Not that I want to drive in the crazy streets of Cebu filled with even more maniacal drivers, but hey, it's that significant symbol of uber-independence that approaches every teenager's life. Besides, with all the pollution, I cannot commute.

P.s. sorry about my crappy-looking LJ, I'm putting up a new layout soon.

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I didn't do much today, but I feel exhausted. Had a test in Advanced Chemistry. Trying to learn complex roots in math. other than that, still working on my other sites.

I still feel really accomplished!I gotta love thos plugins for wordpress. I feel like bragging, although I basically did nothing more than upload and activate, edit and make-sure-it-works-ate.(to make it rhyme, hehe). Next, I'm planning to replace those smilies with cool ones and get that jude law theme, I think I have it in here somewhere... I got em! 75*75... I think they're too huge. But whatever. I have an alias moodtheme too! it's real pretty... And one for friends! Whoo, I'm so giddy. Take that, LJ! I found a loophole! haha... Oh, now I can post on my LJ again because wordpress can synch to my LJ. Pretty neat, right?

It was my cousin's birthday today, he's ten now. I called him up... Aw... he's such a nice kid. I miss them all, and I want to fly all they way to Manila to hug them. I picture myself that college student in manila taking out her adorable cousins to the movies and then for afters in some pastry shop... yeah. Cute.

And it's my birthday tomorrow. Haven't really looked forward to it for the first time ever. Okay, I'm in it for the food. I would like my sushi and sashimi and miso soup. And my honey cake, oh the gastronomic delights! Yeah. Tomorrow is a school day, so... I kinda don't want my friends to make a big show about it (because they will and everyone else will only greet me out of obligation). I want to see who really care, like Mar on my first year. Aw, he is too kind. Well. I have tons of homework (great way to spend Birthday eve, huh?). So tah.

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woohoo! the plugins all work great. which is good, because I spent a large number of time modifying the moodlist thing. whoopee!

all working perfectly. I'm feeling pretty great, so check out my new and improved blog! oh yes, to credit for the moodtheme, macnair and plugging my writing log again:
http://lettres.pyonn.net

and loving my blog which is all-mighty:
http://dre.eversky.org
After all these nifty tools, I am definitely working to make my LJ look better.
I am great. going to sleep now. </lj>

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Here are my confessions laid out
bare on tear-stained shreds of tissue paper
Because all movies have happy endings anyway
With plots full of adventure and mystery
And passion, and romance, and glamour
and beautiful faces and excellent red wine

SO just ramble on about finding true love
On the other side of the celluloid screen
While I am left to wipe my tears dry
and blow my nose on scented Kleenex
My heart riding your emotional rollercoaster
And sighing with you on happy endings.

When it's all over I'll just walk away
Dreaming about star-crossed lovers
Wistful of happy endings and requited love
And handsome leading ladies and enviable jobs
Going to sleep, holding hands with my teddy bear
And I shall resume my comparably ordinary life

I just tried to "remake" a previous poem I did. I lost the original in a server switch, so...
It's about despising romantic comedies. I bet you know where this motivation to re-write this poem (unsuccessfully might I add) - watching another movie.

Yes, I have now figured out the formula. Have you noticed the leading lady always falls for the unexpected guy in the end? Yeah! So rule #1: Have a guy that's completely unexpected. Make them enemies or something. If you're feeling daring, throw in another guy, inexplicably perfect and fireworks-worthy handsome.
Then, you somehow bring these three people together so there's a love triangle. Or if you have only one guy, bring those two people together so that it results in nothing but interaction.
Then ... the girl and guy (that hate each other) become close (surprised?) and *almost* romantically involved but girl/guy screw up and does something offensive so that has the offensive (offenser?) running after the offensed (okay, I made that up but it makes sense) after realizing that he/she loves him/her. There's always that running after the girl/guy, I noticed.
If there's three people the other contender turns out to be a complete jerk or there's no chemistry so the girl runs after the heartborken other guy after realizing that (surprise, surprise) he's the one. And bingo! They kiss, now the credits can be rolled.
If you're feeling creative you can add some witty dialogue or some slapstick-ish "accidents" that have the moviegoers relate to the leading girl.
But really, can we relate to some drop-dead-gorgeous, intelligent, witty girl who always gets the drop-dead handsome, dashing sensitive guy? My guess is not really.
Thanks, blockbusters, for making me realize how my life is not getting any action at all.
Action? You say. You're saying I have action? Oh, I just remembered! I do have action! All I have to do is to pop a video into my VCR. For added edge-of-my-seat thrills I took the liberty of installing Dolby surround sound and super-huge movie screen. Now that's action!

Sorry for the sarcasm. I just... well, the movies are turning me all cynical again. I justify. I'm just jealous. And I have just caught myself wallowing in self-pity so now I will stop.

My drug isn't the Cosmopolitan magazine chock-full of pinup girls... no, I'm not insecure about my looks. I'm insecure about love in this age of 60% divorce rate. Because isn't it everyone's one true longing to love and be loved in return?
So here I am, popcorn in my hand, looking up to the huge silver screen, waiting for the film to roll and let me have my regular fill of romantic comedies I can sigh and be wistful about.
Then I can plan about my perfect guy who never exists and I live this lie about perfection and not totally be aware of it, because my looking-glass is all distorted and I'm seeing all the wrong things.

But then again, who's to say I won't find love? I'm so young, so wild and free, so innocent and exposed to so much cynicism in this cynical world. My life is just about to unfold. My dreams right now are actually achievable. My fingertips are just grazing the edge of life... so close to touching it, so close to feeling it...
I don't want to get all disappointed and shrink into my old age a miserable old hag. No, I won't have it.

So just let me hold out my fingers for a while and let the world take it or leave it. Let me lean back into my perfect imaginary world and dream about perfect love on earth and things (thanks Lord). And then I will plunge into this world and I will keep it from devouring me whole.

Jus let me... do what I want and breathe... and live.

Okay, that didn't make sense. So much for being all poetic (haha!)